Thursday 31 January 2013

Dear Uncle Truth part Zebra

Howdy.

Well, it's round about that time again where I set the world of wargaming to rights with my sagely advice. My  inbox has been quite literally overflowing of late, so let's crack on.

First up is a little lady by the name of Rick:

Dear Uncle Truth,

Hello.

I have a dead good idea for a... erm... game. Yes, that's it, a game!
It's not got any figures, or rules or anything, but basically I want $300,000 cash money, (no cheques). Don't worry about the figures and all that shite, cos even though I practically invented wargaming I apparently - to all extents and purposes - believe that no cunt in this hobby cares about them despite overwhelming personal experience to the contrary.

Cheers, Rick

Dear Rick. That sounds like a truly splendid idea. Put me down for 3... whatever it is you're trying to raise money for.

         
                            


Piss off Jervis and stop copying Admiral Ackbar!


(Righto)

Here's another phlegm-ridden apology for an email. This time it's from your Mum:


Dear every cunt,

your tea is out on the table and is getting cold. Also, here's $300,000. Nip to the Rick Priestley on the way home and get me a... thing.

Love Mum x


Dear Mum,

Yes Mum.


Well, that's all the cock-spasm I can handle this week. I'm off to wipe my arse with a Black Library novel that wasn't written by Dan or Nik Abnett.

Laters,

Uncle Truth