It has been confirmed that a father of 2 has gone for a big Tom-Tit and returned to find that yet another edition of Warhammer 40K has been produced.
Father of 2 Barry Kelly, (26) went to drop the kids off at the pool at approximately 18:00 on 26th February, 2020. He returned 5 months later to find that the ruleset for the popular tabletop wargame had been completely revised.
"I was just wiping my arse when the phone pinged and there was a notification saying there was new stuff. I thought, blimey, that's quick. I only just finished writing my army list before I nipped in to launch a brown canoe. Now all my cards and books and that are out of date!"
The update comes in the wake of people getting used to and enjoying the previous edition of the game and having bought almost all the stuff for their respective armies.
"Basically, we thought it wasn't fair on our customers to be stuck with all that boring 'current' stuff they had bought, often on impulse." said Jervis Johnson, (3) "We know our demographic and these cunts REALLY like buying stuff. Isolated deviants among our customer base will actually build, paint and game with our models. The sick fucking weirdos." said Johnson, non-judgementally.
"It's pure easy doing a new edition!" said Max Bottrill, (73) Games Workshop head of design, manufacture and bonsai trees shaped like knobs. "It's like with teachers when they write your child's report by changing the names on the reports of different children with similar traits. Sometimes we don't even change anything just to see if any cunt notices. We're like the 'Stephen King' of tabletop gaming."
"I'm not liking the look of this psychic maelstrom pish." remarked Kelly. "If things don't improve, then I'm heading in for another Eartha Kitt and like Captain Oates, I may be some time..."
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