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Wednesday, 29 June 2011

Uncle Truth's problem cabin: part 3

Howdy.

Well today I thought 'what the hell' I'll do a comparison of 2 armies and see which one isn't as good as Vulkan of the Salamanders on his own, (We'll have time for some of your emails at the end):

First up is this army of my Mum:


2002500 Pts – Lizardmen Roster – Scaly Monsters
** CHARACTERS **
Slaan Mage-Priest (1#, 495 pts)
1 Slann Mage-Priest (Battle Standard Bearer), 300 pts = (base cost 275 + Battle Standard Bearer 25)
1 Cupped Hands of the Old Ones, 45 pts
1 Higher State of Consciousness, 50 pts
1 Soul of Stone, 50 pts
1 The Focused Rumination, 50 pts
** TROOPS **
Skinks (38#, 212 pts)
37 Skinks, 199 pts = 37 * 5 (base cost 5) + Musician Mus 6 + Standard Bearer Std 8
1 Skink Brave, 13 pts
Skinks (37#, 207 pts)
36 Skinks, 194 pts = 36 * 5 (base cost 5) + Musician Mus 6 + Standard Bearer Std 8
1 Skink Brave, 13 pts
** MONSTERS **
Stegadon (6#, 235 pts)
1 Stegadon, 235 pts
Stegadon (6#, 235 pts)
1 Stegadon, 235 pts
Stegadon (6#, 235 pts)
1 Stegadon, 235 pts
Ancient Stegadon (6#, 275 pts)
1 Ancient Stegadon, 275 pts
Ancient Stegadon (6#, 275 pts)
1 Ancient Stegadon, 275 pts
** SUPPORT **
Chameleon Skinks (5#, 60 pts)
5 Chameleon Skinks, 60 pts = 5 * 12
Chameleon Skinks (5#, 60 pts)
5 Chameleon Skinks, 60 pts = 5 * 12
Skink Skirmishers (10#, 70 pts)
10 Skink Skirmishers, 70 pts = 10 * 7
Skink Skirmishers (10#, 70 pts)
10 Skink Skirmishers, 70 pts = 10 * 7
Skink Skirmishers (10#, 70 pts)
10 Skink Skirmishers, 70 pts = 10 * 7
**Space marinechapter masters that I like a bit too much for it to be considered emotionally healthy**

Vulkan 2 000 000 pts

Composition report:
Points of Lords: 495 (0 – 625)
Points of Heroes: 0 (0 – 625)
Points of Core: 629 (625 – Unlimited)
Points of Special: 825 (0 – 1250)
Points of Rare: 550 (0 – 625)
Points of Vulkan: not enough (Uuuhhhh....)
Total Roster Cost: 3

Compare it now to this army:

2500 Pts – Dark Eldar Roster
1 Baron Sathonyx, 105 pts
5 Kabalite Trueborn, 175 pts (Dark Lance x2, arses x5)
1 Venom (Splinter Cannon x2)
5 Kabalite Trueborn, 175 pts (Dark Lance x2)
1 Venom (Splinter Cannon x2)
5 Kabalite Trueborn, 175 pts (Dark Lance x2)
1 Venom (Splinter Cannon x2)
5 Kabalite Warriors, 135 pts (Blaster x1, hands x11)
1 Raider (Shock Prow; Flickerfield)
5 Kabalite Warriors, 135 pts (Blaster x1)
1 Raider (Shock Prow; Flickerfield)
5 Kabalite Warriors, 135 pts (Blaster x1, shoes x10)
1 Raider (Shock Prow; Flickerfield)
5 Kabalite Warriors, 135 pts (Blaster x1)
1 Raider (Shock Prow; Flickerfield)
5 Kabalite Warriors, 135 pts (Blaster x1, scary expressions x5)
1 Raider (Shock Prow; Flickerfield)
5 Kabalite Warriors, 135 pts (Blaster x1)
1 Raider (Shock Prow; Flickerfield)
5 Beastmasters, 248 pts
4 Khymerae
2 Clawed Fiends
4 Razorwing Flocks
5 Beastmasters, 248 pts
4 Khymerae
2 Clawed Fiends
4 Razorwing Flocks
5 Beastmasters, 248 pts
4 Khymerae
2 Clawed Fiends
4 Razorwing Flocks
1 Ravager, 105 pts
1 Ravager, 105 pts
1 Ravager, 105 pts
Total Roster Cost: 2499

Now as you can see, the Lizardmen army obviously wins, because the Dark Eldar are a spaceborne race of sadistic warriors with advanced interdimensional technology and arcane battlelore. The Dark Eldar would be hampered by the fact that none of them have home and contents with an excess of less than £300 on the first claim. 
Also I did a jobby.

Anyway, here are some of your problems. First up is Dr Didav Stone from Gasglow, in Stcoland:
"Dear Uncle Truth.
I beat your mum at 40K last night. I demand my money back immediately, or I will sell her soiled undergarments on e-bastard forthwith. She is a good cook though, so it wasn't a total fail. 
P.S next father's day, I would like a lawnmower. I don't own a lawn, nor do I intend to in the near future. 
Now get me a fucking lawnmower."
Well Didivado, if you had actually READ my recent article on terrain, then you would know that 1/28th scale representations of Lidl stores DO NOT block LOS when throwing tangerines. To illusrtate, here is a picture of a bird with some tits:

And that's the end of that chapter. Remember kids, I'm significantly better at 40k than you. Join me next week on my House of Paincakes guest spot where I tell them how much better I am than them at 40k.

Oh, I just came.

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