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Thursday, 2 June 2011

The pick of the week at a particular games company's website

At least this wasn't waiting in my inbox, that's the only thing that I can say in the company's defence.

I've been trying to get behind the finecast sensation and I have to say, model-wise, that isn't hard. The quality that I have observed first-hand proves beyond any shadow of a doubt that GW's new mix is capable of breathing life into those tired looking old moulds.

For me, a major problem still exists. This stuff is really expensive. I know that everyone and their brother is harping on about this on the blogsphere and I will admit that I have absolutely nothing new, or insightful to say on the matter. What you need to ask yourself before continuing is, "When has that ever stopped him before?"

Here is a picture of your average, garden variety, run-of-the-mill GW shop regulars in their natural state of existence:

Yes, yes, we know 'You want brains!'
 Here is a staged photo of some Australians supposedly barging their way into a GW store:

"Let me in first!" wailed Bruce, plaintively. "No, me! I want to spend more money on essentially the same product, but produced to a marginally higher degree of quality for my ludicrously contrived and non-playtested game system that serves - rather than as an involving medium for 28mm scale miniature battles - as a ludicrously thin veil for the commercial machinations of a heartless corporate machine!" yelled Sandy. "I've never been with a lady!" added Brad, quickly followed by Bruce and Sandy.

This next sofa-warming treasure is known only as 'Konrad'.

Just in case any of you were wondering what it feels like to hate...
 The caption on the site reads:

This customer, known only as Konrad, came into the store (buy our stuff) in Ringwood, Australia, raised his knives above his head (that's not a knife, this is a knife), and demanded that the (Did you buy our stuff yet?) staff make Konrad von Carstein in Citadel Finecast. Well, hold onto your Fellbats because you never know, one day we might do just that (I don't think I hear you buying our stuff).

What hasn't been effectively communicated by my pasting is the cheeky little hyperlink that GW kindly add which whisks the hapless wargamer on a magical journey to the wonderful and enchanted realm of Konrad von Carstein's citadel finecast shop page.

                                                                  You cheeky so and sos!

If you're not careful then you'll get a reputation for shameless, exploitative marketing practices where you commit the commercial equivalent of taking your customers out for a big, slap-up dinner at a posh restaurant, followed by a walk along a moonlit beach while talking about your crazy dreams, finishing with a chaste peck on the cheek at their front door, then never phoning them again!

I think I may be done with GW, but I don't expect them to care. By a similar token, please don't pollute my blog comments with any inane, fan-boy dribblings of the verbal variety on the subject of defending their pricing position. Should you feel the wish to question me on this matter, then I must direct you here. Also, here is a picture of your mum. Just in case you've forgotten what she looks like, (She's the lady who lives upstairs from your basement 'apartment' and buys your pop-tarts)


eriochrome said...

Unattractive, Slow Moving, Dim Witted, and Smelly.

Nice way to describe your customers, GW.

one day gingers will rule the earth said...

Indubitably sir. Good point, well made!

Anonymous said...

Haha, great captions on the photos and a good article. I can't see myself moving away from the product, as expensive as they are I like the sculpts, as broken as the systems are my friends play the same game and we have been doing so for years.

That said though. They are cunts, if there was another way, I would play something else but as it stands they have my business for a while yet.

I'm just going to try and scratch build as much of my shit as possible from now on or put my money into more forgeworld crap which doesn't actually seem to be getting any more expensive.

one day gingers will rule the earth said...

You're a bloody gentleman sir!

I too am a lover of 40k. It's in my blood I'm afraid. That's why guys like us are entitled to be annoyed with them.

How much money and time have we all invested in this company's product over the years only to have our desires sidelined, our viewpoint ignored?

I've had enough of them and we have a very diverse gamescene in Glasgow, so I'll be getting back into Incursion and Dust tactics in a big way before our Infinity month begins!