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Friday, 24 June 2011

Exclusive: Games Sweatshop to offer free pubic hairs with finecast blisters in an effort to drive up sales

News just in, Games Sweatshop have revealed that they will be offering a limited edition set of pubes in selected blisters from their plasticine-like 'Finecash' range of models.

Dark end of the Street was able to catch up with the tyrannical wargaming company's indifferent founder, Jarvil McJohncunt who gave us an exclusive preview:

A pube, yesterday
"As you can see" stated the plucky, 67 year old mother of 5 "We've begun offering  a limited edition set of pubes in selected blisters from our plasticine-like 'Finecash' range of models. We took the pubes from that rarest of creature: Somebody that plays our games who is old enough to have actually fucking grown some. Given the scarcity of these creatures, we had originally intended to retain this specimen in captivity for breeding, but had to release him back into the wild. First off, we found out that birds don't play our games, They're more into shopping and hair-dryers and that. Secondly, he didn't know what a girl was."

But there's always a bright side said 59 year old Jarvil, greatuncle of 6 and generally smug, rich cunt:

 "The great thing for our cuntomers is that not only do you have models that will melt with little provocation at room temperature faster than those of other, lesser game companies, but now you have the added incentive of owning a genital hair, from the ballbag of an emotionally retarded 30-something that still plays with toy soldiers in our shops!"

Games sweatshop's Finecash (with pubes) is available from all good wargaming retailers, (except Wayland Games, cos they've got the good sense to get it to fuck back where it came from in the first instance!).


Andrew Paul said...

Rubbish. I went into GW today, and they were fresh out of pubes (in the blisters and presumably also on the troglodytes in the shop).

Metropolis said...

Thought I'd found a shit in one of the blisters but discovered it used to be a Dark elf