Saturday, 29 October 2011

Beasts of War in 'not that offensive' video shocker

I am utterly disappointed in BOW this week.

Imagine my delight when I saw the 'adult content' warning on their turn 8 halloween special. Imagine then, my subsequent disappointment when it turned out to be a bunch of fat guys sitting in crappy costumes sharing a childish joke about doing a poo in the cistern instead of the bowl.

Guys - for the record - you need to have some actual swearwords, or at the least some cock/minge to justify an adult content warning. Alternatively, here are some words that assist with your goal of being a bit more rude:


  • Poo
  • Bum
  • Jobby
  • Ladybits
  • Boobies


Any of which would suffice to make your video lamefest inordinately more naughty than the one which you falsely advertised!

On a related note, what's the fucking deal with that guy's accent? Sometimes I think it's Scottish, or posh Irish, but then he hits out with some trite, affected American neologism like 'Dude' which just makes him sound less American and more like a cunt.Usually, when faced with the soul-grinding doldrum of having to engage in conversation with people who talk in this manner, I opt for a pithy wordgame. For example:

"Oh hey dude, that was totally awesome. Legend!"

"Are you from America?"

"Me? No dude, I'm from Edinburgh."

"I see. In that case, would you care to engage in a simple word game?"

"Umm... yeah dude, ok!"

"Splendid. I have a message for you and in order to decipher it, I require that you arrange these words to form a well known phrase: Fuck off."


Rant over.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm afraid he may be one of ours. Apologies.

Uncle Truth said...

Brian, I love BOW mate, but I also love a good dose of quality invective verbiage.

I will continue to watch turn 8 with religious dedication as I have always done, but I demand the use of at least 1 of the naughty words from my comprehensive and carefully considered list by way of recompense!

(Just out of interest, where is that accent from?)