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Monday, 11 April 2011

Assault on Rebeccah Black reach

Games sweatshop have just announced their latest release in the popular Warbastard 40 000 series.

The 6th edition of the game will feature 5001 highly detailed plastic miniatures and - in a potentially confusing and unpopular move - absolutely no rules updates, or amendments whatsoever.

The Dark end of the street was able to catch up with one of Games sweatshop's founders for a few quick words on the hush-hush project:

"Well basically, we were inspired by the general loathing that has been expressed by music fans and random cunts off the internet and that." said the highly respected games designer and father of 2. "We just thought; hold on a minute, here's a chance to do something right AND make fucking tons of money from emotionally retarded men aged 16 - 48 that still play with toy soldiers!"

The premise of Warbastard's latest introductory boxed set features the game's usual army of villains bent on destruction and death. However the designer's of the game's 6th edition have opted to take the system down a hitherto unexplored avenue of wargaming.

"Basically, we've opted to take the system down a hitherto unexplored avenue of wargaming." said one of the game's designers. "While the boxed set features 5000 plastic space urks, (which is almost enough for a squad once you move past the boxed set) we've opted to take the system down a hitherto unexplored avenue of wargaming with regard to their opposing number."

In a potentially risky and unpopular move, the game system's most iconic faction, the Spacebastards are being replaced by a single model representing 14 year old American popstar, Rebeccah Black, but that's not the only change!

"Essentially, it's still a 2 player game, but all players now control units on the same side versus Rebeccah Black. We thought about writing rules for her, but be honest; who the fuck's going to take her side?"

An interesting adaptation of the rules, but what I really want to know is how the new game will play!

"Haven't a fucking clue mate, but I can tell you the boxes are £70 a throw and you get cunting loads of plastic in it. We expect to see fuck-tons of it broken up and sold in bits on ebay really soon."

Warbastard 40 000 6th edition Assault on Rebeccah Black reach will be available for preorder on the Games Sweatshop website from next week, but don't worry: your force codexes will be out of date long before then.

1 comment:

one day gingers will rule the earth said...

I forgot to mention that if you don't have the internet, then you can visit your nearest Games Sweatshop store where you can place your pre-order with a spotty, minimum wage, sexually inhibited cunt that won't take no - or even maybe - for an answer! (Except the guys who I know that work there, because they're cool.)